We as woman have all fallen victim to it at one point or other. We let the jerks rule over us. I have been having a conversation with God over the past week. He has been dealing with me and showing me about myself and the way that I conduct myself with men.
I am not some uber pious being but I do know when God is teaching me something so I listen when not distracted...... Anyways, I like this guy. common story. I hang out with him and such and such. I like really like him. I was getting butterflies and wanting him to call.Wondering if we could take it to that level of gf and bf. Well here is the deal.
For some reason he does not call or text. It is always me beginning the conversation. He says he likes me but there is no activity on my phone from him like ever. I began getting a nagging feeling that something was amiss about the situation.
When asked about why he never contacts me, his response was that " I do not like texting or talking on the phone. I really do not talk to anyone on it."
In my opinion he gets a major side eye on this one.
I know for sure that any guy that is interested in a female will pick up that phone and talk. He will show something to say "hey I am interested".
I believe that all woman have a sixth sense about the dealings of men but all of us do not listen to it. It is unfortunate that is so difficult for us women to follow it and leave when we need too. So hey, I do not judge. I am guilty of being that girl.
In this case. I am thankful for years of being mistreated by guys. Therefore this time I got the signs right away. It is not going to change the fact that I like him and I am attracted but it is going to let me know how I should proceed. This is where God comes into play. This is where I learn that I have not become stagnant.
While I was mulling over the fact that the guy has not called or anything. God began talking to me. Shocking because I have not had him on the main line all these years. Before I could ask what he was doing back and how nice it was to hear from him. I saw what was being shown.
I was online on one of my gossip sites. lol. if you know me, you would know that is my thang. any who, I came across an article titled "7 signs You're the Obsessive type"about obsessive type people in relationships. I looked around all guilty before I clicked on it. I was not sure if the article pertained to me at that point but it was enough to get my attention.
For inquiring minds I have added the link below.
http://madamenoire.com/66885/7-signs-youre-the-obsessive-type/
Reading through the article, I identified some traits in myself. Not all of them mind you but it had me concerned. I want to be truthful because I believe being true to yourself causes necessary growth and progress.
I identified the most with the physical attraction which means often a woman will establish a physical bond before an emotional. A lot of us go wrong there. Also a lot of us get stuck there.
Snooping was the next one. I am guilty of it. I have snooped in a phone a time or two. mostly because I did not trust the foo. We all we have been there where we see the phone left on the couch or counter and we think to ourselves it would not hurt to look if he is faithful right? Well more often than not alot of us are let down.
Taking all your mans free time was the next one. It was actually not liking him having other friends. I do have a jealous streak and I never quite understood why it bothered me when my guy would choose his friends to hang out with over me. I was being too overbearing. It was crazy because I would see myself acting irrational as far as that but I could not change how I felt about it thus ending the relationship.
I have been feeling a shift lately. I feel as if that article was one of the things from God trying to get my attention besides the fact that I recently got crushed by a guy.
I do feel as if there has been some growth in me. I feel as if God is telling me that there are some things that need to be looked at within myself before I can have a conducive relationship. I do not know about you ladies but I am tired of all the games. I am tired of waiting on Mr. Right to find me. I am tired of being that girl.
If you are that girl, I think it is time to look inside and see why we are still single. I am sure most of us are viable, vibrant and beautiful.
More often than not it is something in us that needs to be filled first before God allows someone to step in. I feel as if he does this because he knows that we will be miserable in those relationships without real healing. Leaving us more jacked than we were before we started. I think that God is teaching me a valuable lesson that is still in progress that I can share with a lot of women. I am not perfect and I personally suck as an example but God teaches and speaks.
My heart truly aches for the woman like myself who have that feeling of loneliness. We feel inadequate because some guy does not want us. We are going from one relationship to another but the thing that we need to realize is our self esteem keeps us down as well as a poor image of who we are.
Recently God has been telling me that I am more. He has told me this in the past as I was crying about the last guy but it was lost on me. This time, I actually am starting to believe him and I feel the difference it is making.
I feel stronger. Mind you this is probably going to be a while but at least today I feel stronger. It is a step in the right direction.
Instead of being that girl, I am going to be this girl. This girl who is strong. This girl who loves God. This girl without a man but whole. This girl who is something.
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